Fatphobia

[violachic]

I'm sorry, but guys, instead of saying crap like "I like a woman who takes care of her body", why can't you just be honest and straightforward and say "no fat chicks"? I mean, come on already. By using stupid euphemisms, you end up annoying me on two levels: first, the one where I think you're an idiot for assuming you can't be attracted to fat chicks, and second, the one where you insult my and everyone else's intelligence by thinking you can get away with masking what you're really trying to say with a supposedly-benign turn of phrase. I'm getting really tired of people- especially men- trying to tell me that I don't take care of myself just because I wear a larger size clothing than other women.



Fatphobia: unbelieveably enough, still a socially accepted predjudice.



So just in case you aren't aware, I'll make an announcement: I'm a fat chick- actually, I'm a Fat Chick- and I'm damn sexy.

Comments

[andelku.livejournal.com]

It's not as simple as you coming across as shallow. People are attracted to whom they are attracted to, and I can see you just want to be honest.

So let me be honest with you. I would never date you *because* you said you would never date someone who was heavy. I would have been turned off even back when I was a size 6. This is not saying you are a bad person. But it is a major turn off for a lot of women, some of whom fall into the size range that appeals to you.

This is for two reasons:

1) Most women who wear bigger than a size 2 think they are fat, even if they are not.

2) Even the skinny size 0 women are painfully self-conscious of their zits, bad hair days, or other perceived imperfections. (small breasts, mole on their stomach, bad breath)

3) Even that rare woman out there with a perfectly average figure who is completely comfortable with her appearance may be turned off by this statement because the implication is that they might be rejected for their appearance one day.

In other words, you are implying, maybe without intending to, that you might be the kind of guy who would leave her if she got cancer/had a disfiguring accident/had a thyroid condition that made her weight jump. (This woman might date you or sleep with you, but not consider you a long term prospect.)

The culture around women and appearance is so painful, so scrutinizing, that very, very few women out there are unscathed by it. So while this may in fact be your view of what is attractive, and you are not able to change it, I wouldn't advertise it in a dating situation, or in fact, a marriage, and certainly not, you know, if you have a daughter.

[ridemycamel.livejournal.com]

you're 100% right, I've never thought of it that way before. But i think i was thinking more about the initial attraction; if i was dating someone who gained weight, that wouldnt bother me.

[andelku.livejournal.com]

Well, I have a weird thing about British accents. I'm totally into guys with British accents. It's messed up, probably has something to do with my Dad's Cambridge accent, and its all very Oedipal and wrong but there you are ... They say that women sexually respond aurally the way men respond visually. I find many American accents grating and kind of a turn off. (Tragic because I live in the Midwest ... I went to London and it was candy! Every single guy there had a British Accent. My God! All of them! Girl porn at the Underground Information Kiosk! I offer this tidbit to all you men who wonder what Jude Law has that you don't. Where was I ... )

However, never say never. I mean I could say I can't date Americans, I'm moving to the UK I guess, but I'm limiting myself. You may have not been attracted to a heavy woman *yet*. It does not follow that it will never happen.

Besides, you may also be stuck moving to the UK, because 2/3 of Americans are overweight.

Also what women think is heavy and what you think is heavy and what the fashion industry think is heavy are three different things. I thought I was fat at size 6. I am a 14 now and convinced I'm monsterous. Which will and does make many women who are large than me CRAZY. OTOH, my size 4 sister is convinced she's fat too which makes *me* CRAZY.

A lot of those guys out there who put that "no fatties" thing out there don't realize that the girl thinking he means her may likely be my size 4 sister.