Viola Joke-of-the-Day

[violachic]

Its been a long time. Oh, I know its been a looooong time. Hopefully, that means my avid Viola Joke readers will have forgotten some of the jokes, because I think I have to recycle them. Besides, I don't know what I've posted and what I haven't posted anymore.

In light of that....




Q; What's the difference between a viola and an onion?
A: No one cries when you cut up a viola.

Q: What's the definition of a minor second?
A: Two violists playing in unison.

Q: What's the definiton of "perfect pitch?"
A: Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim.

Q: Why do violists stand for long periods outside people's houses?
A: They can't find the key and they don't know when to come in.

Q: What's the difference between a seamstress and a violist?
A: The seamstress tucks up the frills.

Q: What's the difference between a washing machine and a violist?
A: Vibrato.

Comments

[pheret1.livejournal.com]

"tucks up the frills..."

Bwahaaahaahaaahaa!!!!!!

[ericcoleman]

I had heard most of these, but "tucks up the frills" was new.

Being a reformed drummer, my favorites are

What do you call a drummer in a 3-piece suit?
The defendant.

What has three legs and an asshole?
A drum stool

[violachic.livejournal.com]

Stick around long enough, you'll get more :-)

[belmikey.livejournal.com]

How can you tell the orchestra stage is level?

[violachic.livejournal.com]

There is drool coming out both sides of the [insert instrument to mock] player's mouth.

[belmikey.livejournal.com]

Knew you'd know that one :-)

[violachic.livejournal.com]

Because I'm just that good :-D

[infintysquared.livejournal.com]

Q: What's the difference between a washing machine and a violist?
A: Vibrato.


... Although you can fix that with a cattle prod. See those fingers jiggle!