Viola Joke-of-the-Day

[violachic]

Q: A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?
A: The conductor. Business before pleasure.

Q: What's the most popular recording of the William Walton viola concerto?
A: Music Minus One

Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

Q: What is the range of a Viola?
A: As far as you can kick it.

Q: What do a SCUD missile and a viola player have in common?
A: They're both offensive and inaccurate.

Q: What's the difference between a chain saw and a viola?
A: If you absolutely had to, you could use a chain saw in a string quartet.

Q: What is the definition of a cluster chord?
A: A viola section playing on the C string.


Q: Why do violists get antsy when they see the Kama Sutra?
A: All those positions!

Comments

[ironheadjane.livejournal.com]

I love your jokes. I never knew there were so many jokes about violas!! I only wish I understood them all :) sometimes I get the feeling that they are meant to jab at certain notorious problems that violas or violists deal w/. :) I can only guess at that point. Still fun, though.

[violachic.livejournal.com]

Yeah, some of them are kind of inside jokes... but they're fun... and harmless... :-)

[febrile.livejournal.com]

For the record, I, too, adore these.

[violachic.livejournal.com]

yay!

[violistsmurf.livejournal.com]

hey I found your journal because you're also interested in Yuri Bashmet...

Q. What's the difference between first and last stand in the viola section?
A. About half a measure

Q. Why do violists put their cases on the dashboard of their cars [not that it would fit]?
A. So that they can park in handicap spaces.

Q. What's the longest viola joke?
A. Harold in Italy.

Q. Why do violists read in alto clef?
A. It's harder to proove that mistakes aren't printing errors.

Heehee.... Why is it that violists get so much joy out of viola jokes?

[violachic.livejournal.com]

*grin* you gotta have a sense of humor to be a violist.... I think its on the application or something....

[violachic.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah... and, Yuri Bashmet and Nobuko Imai are the two most amazing violists I've ever heard recorded. I'm not too fond of Kim Kashkashian, and I can't stand Pinchas Zukerman's viola playing. Jaime Laredo is quite good, as well, but he doesn't record solo very often. You have good taste ;-)

[violistsmurf.livejournal.com]

thank you! when Zukerman was playing Harold in Italy with New Haven Symphony, he came late. So the principal violist, who is my quartet coach, played the 1st mvt instead of him on like 10 minutes notice... and some people said that he played it better then Zukerman. When Zukerman arrived, he wanted to play the 1st movement again. Crazy man...

[violachic.livejournal.com]

Zukerman is a great musician, and a quite good violinist, but he should stay away from the viola :-) But it sounds like he's a bit of an egomaniac as well. Urgh. Celebrities....