Viola Joke-of-the-Day
Sep. 14th, 2003 04:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
violachicQ: How many violists does it take to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies?
A: Ten. One to stir the batter and nine to peel the M & M's.
Q: What is the longest viola joke?
A: Harold in Italy
Q: What do you call a bunch of violists in a hot tub?
A: Vegetable soup.
Q:Did you hear about the violist who played in tune?
A:Neither did I.
Q: Why did the violist marry the accordion player?
A: Upward mobility.
Q: Why do you always bury a viola player three feet under?
A: Because deep down they are all very nice people.
Q: How do you keep a violist from drowning?
A: Take your foot off his head.
A: Ten. One to stir the batter and nine to peel the M & M's.
Q: What is the longest viola joke?
A: Harold in Italy
Q: What do you call a bunch of violists in a hot tub?
A: Vegetable soup.
Q:Did you hear about the violist who played in tune?
A:Neither did I.
Q: Why did the violist marry the accordion player?
A: Upward mobility.
Q: Why do you always bury a viola player three feet under?
A: Because deep down they are all very nice people.
Q: How do you keep a violist from drowning?
A: Take your foot off his head.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-09-14 05:20 pm (UTC)Huh?
no subject
Date: 2003-09-14 05:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-09-14 06:37 pm (UTC)------
A violist came home and found his house burned to the ground. When he asked what happened, the police told him "Well, apparently the conductor came to your house, and ..."
The violist's eyes lit up and he interrupted excitedly, "The conductor? Came to my house?"
-------
Ok, not fair, must pick on myself for awhile...
-------
How many basses does it take to change a light-bulb?
None. They're so damned macho they prefer to walk in the dark, bumping into things.
-------
What is the difference between the women's final at Wimbledon and a high school choral performance?
The tennis final has more men.
-------
How does a young bass become a member of a high school chorus?
On the first day of school he turns into the wrong classroom.
-------
Q - Why are concert intermissions limited to 20 minutes ?
A - So you won't need to retrain the singers.
-------
One night, a lounge piano player pulls over the singer and says, "Now tonight we'll try a special version of this song: after five and a half measures of intro you come in with the second verse a minor third up, go to the bridge after 11 bars, twice modulate a half step down and halfway in the last A-section you start the tag, but a tri-tone lower. Are you ready? One, two,..." "Hell, wait!" the singer interrupts. "I'll never be able to do this!" The pianist replies, "But you nailed it last night!"
no subject
Date: 2003-09-14 07:37 pm (UTC)I love making fun of myself.
no subject
Date: 2003-09-14 09:07 pm (UTC)Both are offensive and inaccurate!
(I can make fun of myself, too!)