![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
violachic...here I am, stuck in the middle with you...
All this decision-making is wearing me down. Too much thinking. I can't seem to come up with one thing and stick with it. Something else keeps coming up. And now I'm just plain damn tired. The analogy here isn't waffling, or even yo-yo. Its more like monkey-in-the-middle, and I'm the freaking monkey. To recap the last few weeks, the major issues are as follows:
1)Who the hell am I, really?
and
2)What the hell am I going to do with my life?
a)Why am I going to do that with my life?
If I go into the volunteer services- which I am leaning heavily to right now- will I be doing that much of a greater good than what I'm doing now? If I don't do it, will I be a cop-out? If I do it, will I be doing it for the right reasons, and not just for a lack of anything better to do, or running away from my problems?
If I stay here, what now? Am I really that great of a teacher? How can I keep from spinning my wheels? I feel as if I'm stuck in the mud. School? Job? Money?
I was greatly shocked this week to find out that one of my darling students has been hospitalized. She has a lot of mental and emotional issues, and while I don't know why she is in the hospital, I fear that it isn't good. She has tried to kill herself a couple time in the past. I wish I could take her pain away for her.
Too much grief.
So here's my horrorscope for July 28th, 2002. How accurate is it? Creepy.
TAURUS (Apr 20–May 20): You have some energy to express, but it is being softened and confused by others in your life. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing as it can take the hard edges off your day. Be careful about over-indulging in anything that can change your perception of things, including alcohol.
I think I need a lot more sleep. I'd do a crossword before bed but right now I think it would give me an anyeurism. Even a spotted pig looks black at night. So ask me after about 9 hours of sleep :-)
All this decision-making is wearing me down. Too much thinking. I can't seem to come up with one thing and stick with it. Something else keeps coming up. And now I'm just plain damn tired. The analogy here isn't waffling, or even yo-yo. Its more like monkey-in-the-middle, and I'm the freaking monkey. To recap the last few weeks, the major issues are as follows:
1)Who the hell am I, really?
and
2)What the hell am I going to do with my life?
a)Why am I going to do that with my life?
If I go into the volunteer services- which I am leaning heavily to right now- will I be doing that much of a greater good than what I'm doing now? If I don't do it, will I be a cop-out? If I do it, will I be doing it for the right reasons, and not just for a lack of anything better to do, or running away from my problems?
If I stay here, what now? Am I really that great of a teacher? How can I keep from spinning my wheels? I feel as if I'm stuck in the mud. School? Job? Money?
I was greatly shocked this week to find out that one of my darling students has been hospitalized. She has a lot of mental and emotional issues, and while I don't know why she is in the hospital, I fear that it isn't good. She has tried to kill herself a couple time in the past. I wish I could take her pain away for her.
Too much grief.
So here's my horrorscope for July 28th, 2002. How accurate is it? Creepy.
TAURUS (Apr 20–May 20): You have some energy to express, but it is being softened and confused by others in your life. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing as it can take the hard edges off your day. Be careful about over-indulging in anything that can change your perception of things, including alcohol.
I think I need a lot more sleep. I'd do a crossword before bed but right now I think it would give me an anyeurism. Even a spotted pig looks black at night. So ask me after about 9 hours of sleep :-)
