Musings.......

[violachic]

The sixth anniversary of Vocare is coming up at the end of this month. I don't remember the exact dates, but I remember it was the last weekend of the month, and we celebrated pinkfluffyjumpr's birthday, which I believe is July 30th. I see Vocare as a huge milestone in my young adult life for many reasons. Some of them are right here on LiveJournal.

First generation vocarians (people I met at vocare)
pinkfluffyjumpr
the_seventh (responsible for my LJ addiction)
pt350
thumgreene
pheret1 (who I'm actually related to, so I met her long before Vocare, but she was involved, so...)

second generation vocarians (people I met as a direct result of meeting people at Vocare)
legendofthehawk
bethypooh95
unhappymeal
wildrose80
dust_wind_dude
hapcollins
stormrider53
magickone
rincewindrocks
masgoose
marlo687

Anyway. At the time it provided me with a group of people I felt comfortable with. Which was really important because I only lasted one more semester in college and then came home. I spent a lot of time driving to Richton Park and Homewood with pinkfluffyjumpr that winter. That was probably the peak of my smoking career.

A lot has changed in these six years. Friends have come and gone. Some drifted away, some moved on, some got married and moved away, some are still on the fringes, and some... well, some have painful breakups.

I was pretty weak six years ago.


I'm a lot stronger than I was six years ago. There is no doubt about that. There are a lot of reasons for this, some bad some good. But the fact remains that I am far closer to being a whole person than I was then. Unfortunately, I am far bitchier and far more selfish than I was then, too. In some respects I suppose that is a good thing. In some respects I am ashamed of it.

How does one balance the two? Reconcile? I mean, there are the extremes- a doormat vs. the ice queen. There has to be a happy medium somewhere.

I'm not exactly sure how the two ideas tie together, but I know they do.

No matter where any of us end up, or how we get there, I know that I have a connection to Vocare that I'll never forget. Lives are changing, but our past never does. Thank you to vocarians for changing my life six years ago. I have always been grateful for friendship and support you've given me. I'm about to go change my own life, hopefully in drastic ways, and I want to make sure I bring you with me. Thank you.


P.S. Sarahbear! I put the Corona medallion on my rearview mirror. It makes the car look delightfully ghetto. I love it!

P.P.S. Sarah's mom! I had a cookie. It was really good.

Comments

[grisham.livejournal.com]

I for one have never thought of you as a doormat or a ice queen. I don't think that that any one that has ever really tried to get to know you has. The thing is that you have always (at least since I've known you) had a core of beliefs, things that you truly believed that you were immutable on. There are other other thing that you didn't seem to have anywhere near as strong a belief about, that gave a illusion of you being less "selfish" (I really don't like the use of this word in this context because if you don't stand for any thing you will fall for everything.)It seems that over the years that more thing have simply made there way into the core belife, that make up who you are. That as youv'e aged(old lady ;)) youve become better defined as a person. That you know who you are and what you want from the world... at least more often. Basically that you've grown. In my view that's a good thing.

[ex-divalibby633.livejournal.com]

ramble ramble ramble, Mr Serious-Pants!

I love her. She's my friend. *grin*

Re:

[violachic.livejournal.com]

Sorry if it came across that I was accusing myself of falling on either extreme. I didn't mean to.