(no subject)

[violachic]

Its really interesting the kinds of sensory associations your brain makes for itself. For me, probably obviously, music is the strongest of senses for making associations, although I've noticed that smell and taste are also strong for me; visual and tactile are the lowest, for some reason.

But while listening to my iPod today, my brain made a sudden association that kind of startled me.

I discovered the U2 song, All I Want Is You last summer when I got my U2 iPod, and downloaded the U2 box set. It quickly became one of my favorite love songs. Its still number two on my "Love Songs" playlist, right after ABBA's Take a Chance on Me.

But the association isn't a love or crush or infatuation one. Its a friendship one, and, for lack of a better way to put it, a political one.

In Palestine, in Tuwani, CPT works with an Italian group called Operation Dove. They're all really cool, fun people, and it was a joy to work with them. My last couple weeks there, I made a really good friend, named Laura (in Italian, it is pronounced "LOW-ra"). We discovered almost immediately that we shared an affection for U2, but also especially for the song "All I Want is You". When it came up on my iTunes on my laptop, we'd sit together on the mat, listening to that song over and over with goofy grins on our faces. It drove our housemates a little nuts. But we bonded over that, and even though I worked with her less than the others, she was the one I was closest to when I left.

So the song makes me think of Laura. Which then makes me think of that awful day with the settlers and the soldiers, when she was one of our team to be assaulted by soldiers.

Luckily, it also makes me think of the day, while waiting for the ever-tardy school escort to take the children home to the next village, when Laura challenged the children to a pick-up game of football (soccer), albeit with a completely dead, flat ball.

Then that makes me think of the little tykes. Which makes me think of the village. And a whole host of memories come tumbling out.

This time last year, I was in Tuwani. It was the most amazing experience I've ever had in my life. By now, I was supposed to be back there. That has been my biggest struggle throughout this whole injury think. I know I keep blabbing about it, and showing pictures that are now almost a year old. But I have to keep reminding myself that everything is okay; I'll be well enough soon to go. Even if "soon" has a very fluid meaning.

See how my mind tortures me?!? I go from a love song by U2 (have I mentioned that I'm going to marry Bono?) to a new friend, to a war zone, to physical therapy, all in the course of about four minutes. But at least my brain works now!

I miss Laura. I should get her email address and send her pictures.

Comments

[iniswitryn.livejournal.com]

And here's how -my- brain works:

Your talking about being in Palestine reminded me that shortly after you came home from Iraq (I think), you got sick with whooping cough. And I read something, somewhere, a few days ago about whooping cough spasms causing rib injuries.

Does your current med team know about the whooping cough?

[violachic.livejournal.com]

Actually, both trips were to Palestine. I'd love to go to Iraq, but my family won't let me.

Having had whooping cough is definitely in my medical records, but we have never talked about it in regards to this injury. There was about ten months between having whooping cough and being injured, I'm not sure if there's any correlation there. But thank you for bringing that up, I will definitely ask about that.

[dl76.livejournal.com]

who is this bono character??

[e-morgan.livejournal.com]

*gasp*

You poor, deprived soul. You haven't known anything until you've known Bono.

[dl76.livejournal.com]

actually, I'm just giving VC a hard time, but dont tell her that.

[e-morgan.livejournal.com]

I was wondering how it was possible that a person, in the English-speaking world, who had not heard of Bono, *existed*

:o)

[dl76.livejournal.com]

actually, before VC, I had heard of U2, but not specifically of Bono.

[violachic.livejournal.com]

See? I knew I liked you!

[kibbles.livejournal.com]

1. Yes. Get her email. You'll feel stronger and better.

2. My brain works like that too.

[e-morgan.livejournal.com]

My brain does that carnival ride through memories, too.

I understand the pain/sudden-disability/depression very well, firsthand!, and if what you are doing is all you have sometimes, then hang on to it without guilt. It takes a LOT to get through these hardest parts. Reminding yourself of future goals is one way to keep hope alive. You need that to heal.

Have you thought of writing a book or memoir about your time there? (Possibly with future volumes to come each time you go back?) I'm always intrigued when you talk about it. And, this might not be a bad time to start it. It's a pretty low-impact activity. :o)

[violachic.livejournal.com]

I'd love to write something like that, for a lot of reasons. Problem is, my inspiration for writing is so sporadic! I am not one of those writers who can discipline themselves to sit down and write X amount of hours or pages a day. But certainly, I can start writing, and see where it takes me!

[pickleboot.livejournal.com]

i have the same responses to music. to guided by voices, belle and sebastian, and the tapes/cds that i went backpacking through europe to. it's amazing how much music can make you remember. we couldn't listen to cake for about two years, simply because we associated it with zane and sleepless nights. it was one of the few bands that would quiet him down, and even now i can hear his screaming in the background sometimes.

[violachic.livejournal.com]

Yes, I can't listen to Fiona Apple at all because I associate it with a really, really miserable roomate I had in college who listened to Fiona Apple constantly.

[andelku.livejournal.com]

okay, now you need to call me about PTSD and your brain.

[violachic.livejournal.com]

Seriously? Email me, violachic AT livejournal, if you'd like.

[violachic.livejournal.com]

okay, so I wanted to give you a little bit of an update, but I'm on a new email now and don't have -your- email anymore :-( Could you toss me a quick one again, at the LJ email? You'll get a response from "chicagocamelgirl". Thank you!

[whereisjoy.livejournal.com]

oh hey, I met Laura this summer.

[violachic.livejournal.com]

She's quite dynamic, isn't she?

[spuzbal.livejournal.com]

I have another question about CPT, if you don't mind. Namely, how did you "pitch" the idea of joining CPT to your parents? How did they react? I suspect mine would be less than thrilled, to say the least. They were unhappy enough when I wanted to go to Namibia, which is a significantly safer place.

[violachic.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm pretty lucky. Not only are my parents entirely supportive of the idea, but my mom went on the delegation with me, went through training (although not at the same timeI did), and although she isn't working with CPT - it doesn't fit in as well with her life as she thought it might- she has spent two summers in Bethlehem with the Palestine Summer Encounter program. So I'm not really sure I'm somebody that can help you a lot with that from a personal perspective, I'm sorry. But I would say that in observing friends who have families that aren't as supportive as mine, making sure you have all the facts down, being diplomatic about it at first, and emphasizing that you're well aware of any inherent dangers and go into them willingly, seem to be important ways to broach the subject. I would also say, don't try to make it out as safer than it is; the instances of danger, injury, and death are actually incredibly low, but the likelihood does, obviously, exist. And maybe promising them you won't go to Iraq, or at least not at first, might help :-) Do you have a pastor or something you could talk to first who can support you, who can then be available to lend support to your parents? I've noticed that even if parents have the social and political mindset that would enable them to support the work, sometimes simply the factor of their child putting themselves in an potentially harmful situation can keep them from being supportive towards their child doing the work- you know, "its important work.... for somebody else's child to do...." kind of thing.

Hope that helps, even a little bit.

[spuzbal.livejournal.com]

That's way cool that your parents were so supportive. Your advice seems sound, too. Maybe I'll ask my pastor up north if he's familiar with CPT's work. (Even after three years of looking, I have yet to find a church down here that I like half as much as the one I go to up north, oddly enough. Haven't given up, though. That's why I don't ask someone down here, I mean.)

p.s.

[violachic.livejournal.com]

Oh, and I never mind answering questions about CPT, so feel free to ask at any time. You're even welcome to email me, check my user info page for the email address.

Re: p.s.

[spuzbal.livejournal.com]

Thank you. Everything you've told me so far has been very helpful.