(no subject)
Dec. 13th, 2002 01:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
violachicI haven't even attempted to read my friends page yet, but I found this so funny I thought maybe some of you might as well.
It is selling at such a good price that... well ... I bought one. Mine
arrived yesterday. If you or a friend are considering a kosher
computer, you should know that there are some important upgrades and
changes from the typical computer you are used to, such as:
a.. The cursor moves from right to left. It comes with two hard drives
-- one for fleyshedik business software and one for milchedik games.
b.. Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now
gets "Ferklempt.
c. The Chanukah screen savers include "Flying Dreidels."
d. The PC also shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
e. After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours.
f. The "Start" button has been replaced with the "Let's go!! I'm not
getting any younger!" button.
g. When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, I am
instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchus."
h. The multimedia player has been renamed to "Gnu, so play my music
already!"
i. Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right
corner.
j. I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.
k. Microsoft Office now includes, "A little byte of this, and a little
byte of that."
l. When running "ScanDisk," it prompts with a "You want I should fix
this?" message.
m. When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud "Oy Gevalt!"
n. There is a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that
advertises that it gets rid of the "schmutz und drek" on your monitor.
o. After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes "Schloffen."
p. Computer viruses can now be cured with some matzo ball chicken soup.
q. If you decide not to shut down the computer in the prescribed
manner, the following message appears: "You should be ashamed of
yourself."
r. When Spellchecker finds an error it prompts, "Is this the best you
can do?
It is selling at such a good price that... well ... I bought one. Mine
arrived yesterday. If you or a friend are considering a kosher
computer, you should know that there are some important upgrades and
changes from the typical computer you are used to, such as:
a.. The cursor moves from right to left. It comes with two hard drives
-- one for fleyshedik business software and one for milchedik games.
b.. Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, my PC now
gets "Ferklempt.
c. The Chanukah screen savers include "Flying Dreidels."
d. The PC also shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
e. After my computer dies, I have to dispose of it within 24 hours.
f. The "Start" button has been replaced with the "Let's go!! I'm not
getting any younger!" button.
g. When disconnecting external devices from the back of my PC, I am
instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC's tuchus."
h. The multimedia player has been renamed to "Gnu, so play my music
already!"
i. Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right
corner.
j. I hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.
k. Microsoft Office now includes, "A little byte of this, and a little
byte of that."
l. When running "ScanDisk," it prompts with a "You want I should fix
this?" message.
m. When my PC is working too hard, I occasionally hear a loud "Oy Gevalt!"
n. There is a "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz that
advertises that it gets rid of the "schmutz und drek" on your monitor.
o. After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes "Schloffen."
p. Computer viruses can now be cured with some matzo ball chicken soup.
q. If you decide not to shut down the computer in the prescribed
manner, the following message appears: "You should be ashamed of
yourself."
r. When Spellchecker finds an error it prompts, "Is this the best you
can do?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2002-12-13 11:28 am (UTC)How funny. I sure hope you sent this to Mom. She loved the Jewish Haikus.