So I just got done perusing through the April issue of
The Messenger, which is the periodical publication of the
Church of the Brethren.
Its interesting, because I also, up until now, was still receiving the
Lutheran publication, aptly titled
The Lutheran. This, I'm not so sure why I was still receiving it after not attending a Lutheran church for about seven years, but this month it finally came with a cover exclaiming "This is your last issue! Renew now!", which I won't, simply because I have better things I need to do with my money. I was getting it free, as our old Lutheran congregation made sure every member had a subscription to it, whether they wanted one or not.
Does the
Episcopal church have a monthly/bimonthly/quarterly, etc... magazine publication? Just out of curiosity- I've never seen one.
I like reading the articles in these magazines. It can be fun to see who from the denomination has won merit, or become a local celebrity- or sometimes is a celebrity with more than just local status. There have been times when people I know have made these lists. Both denominations have highly educated and respected theologians who surface from time to time with something extraordinarily profound, although their theology very often differs greatly from one another. Each magazine has a section of national and world news, discussing current events, and sometimes our reactions to them.
But I've begun to grow uncomfortable with these publications over the last few years. Maybe its just my exponentially growing cynicism, but I start to wonder what greater good is really achieved in sending out thousands upon thousands of copies of these magazines each month. Sometimes there is something published that I can't get other places, but it feels to me that what is usually published is one or both of the following:
1)Articles that are basically extended versions of "Chicken Soup for the Soul", about retiring church secretaries who have had the same job at the same church for the last fifty years, or cute license plates that advertise the driver's loyalty to the denomination. They are entertaining, heartwarming, and can even be inspiring, but too often I have picked up a copy of one of these magazines where these are pretty much the only thing involved. As heartwarming as they are, they really are the theological equivalent of Marshmallow Fluff.
2)The "look what someone who is Lutheran/Brethren did last week that's really cool!" page. Great. We should all be proud of the achievements of our loved ones, of those around us- and some of these achievements are, indeed, extraordinary. But this page in particular gives me the feeling of belonging to an exclusive club. Being part of a church is not like being in a Country Club- why shouldn't we strive to be proud of everyone we come in contact with, regardless of our denominational or religious affiliations?
I know this sounds really harsh- even writing it I wonder if I'm being too hard. I guess I'm looking for the outrage and the indignance that fuels change, not the acquiescence, or the pats-on-the-back.
I don't know- I mean, I've never been one to wear my emotions on my sleeve, pardon the cliche. I'm a shy, introverted person, and I know its difficult for people to read me. Even my own writing, while it exposes far more of the essential me than being with me face-to-face (unless you know me fairly well), I know doesn't even come a fraction close to the emotion I'm feeling as I try to express it. Therefore, perhaps I have little room to ask it of others.
What's my point?
Well, if I knew for sure, I wouldn't still be writing. As usual, what I thought I'd end with when I started, and what I actually end with are two completely different entities.
These three denominations have been dominant one at a time since I was born- with a little
Moravian and a huge interest in Judaism thrown in for spice. At one time or another, each denomination seemed like the perfect fit. But then, I outgrew them- or maybe they outgrew me, who knows? If I've learned one thing about theology in my life, its that there is no such thing as a "perfect fit", unless you're willing to do some mixing and matching. I've recently been sucked (or is it "suckered?") back into an Episcopal church at the same time I'm feeling vastly loyal to what I've learned from the Brethren. I've been extremely lucky in both of these congregations. In their own ways, they are very active, radical groups who feel and express the same outrage I have that the things that are wrong aren't being rectified nearly quickly enough.
I guess that's the frustration I feel when I read these magazines. I know it isn't fair- I know that while they are published to give a nice, balanced overview of the beliefs of the church, they still have to appeal to a very wide audience.
But I also know that neither of the two things I mentioned are my idea of what Christianity is about. Heartwarming and inspiring are nice- even great- but if that's the depth of your theology, that's a little scary. And being a Christian certainly isn't about the Country Club mentality, although sometimes one can be hard pressed to find a congregation who doesn't possess it.
Maybe I'm reacting directly to the fact that I get the CCM from my Brethren church. So far, I haven't felt it at the Episcopal church, but I'm still in the honeymoon phase there.
To sum up:
1)No one should be, or feel, excluded from a faith community. Under any circumstances.
2)There are things desperately wrong with the world, and I get frustrated because sometimes it seems like the people who say they care don't really care.
3)I'm well aware that I'm writing off-the-cuff and in a knee-jerk response, and quite possibly won't feel this strongly tomorrow.
4)I still have no point. Really. It is becoming my trademark to come on LiveJournal and ramble on about nothing in particular.
5)I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Rambling about nothing in particular tends to wear me out. Good night.
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