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violachic ([personal profile] violachic) wrote2003-12-27 11:50 pm

Viola Joke-of-the-Day

A violinist noticed at the end of each rehearsal break, one of the violists would look at the inside flap of his jacket before he sat down to resume rehearsal. This continued for several decades, and the violinist became quite curious about it. One day, during hot weather, the violist took off his jacket and went off on break. The violinist waited until everyone was off the platform, looked around, and sneaked over to the jacket. He pulled back the flap and saw a little note pinned on the inside. It read: "viola left hand, bow right."


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A man went into a novelty shop and saw an item that caught his fancy almost immediately. It was a stuffed rat. The man couldn't take his eyes off it, and finally asked how much it cost. The answer was "$79.95, but if you buy it, you can't return it for any reason." The man thought this was a bit odd, but he was really taken by the stuffed rat so he bought it.

As he headed down the street with the stuffed rat, several live rats started following him. He thought this was really odd, but he kept walking. Within a few blocks, he had a huge pack of rats behind him. When he got to the river, he threw the stuffed rat into the river, and all the live rats jumped into the river and drowned.

The man returned to the shop. As soon as he walked in, the owner said "I told you you couldn't return the stuffed rat!"

The man said "No! I don't want to return it! I was wondering if you had any stuffed violists."


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A viola player decides that he's had enough of being a viola player--unappreciated, all those silly jokes. So he decides to change instruments.

He goes into a shop, and says, "I want to buy a violin."

The man behind the counter looks at him for a moment, and then says, "You must be a viola player."

The viola player is astonished, and says, "Well, yes, I am. But how did you know?"

"Well, sir, this is a fish-and-chip shop."

[identity profile] emilytroutman.livejournal.com 2003-12-27 10:18 pm (UTC)(link)
hehehe

[identity profile] etbuadam.livejournal.com 2003-12-27 11:49 pm (UTC)(link)
this is incredibly sad...but oh so funny. You my friend are a dork!

[identity profile] violachic.livejournal.com 2003-12-28 12:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes. Yes, I am a dork. But I am a happy dork :-D

[identity profile] etbuadam.livejournal.com 2003-12-28 05:41 pm (UTC)(link)
Happiness is what it is all about.

Anology

[identity profile] piddyx.livejournal.com 2003-12-28 10:39 am (UTC)(link)
I need your help to understand this. If rap was classical music, would Biggie play the violin and Tupac play the viola, or would Tupac be a violinist and Biggie a viola enthusiast.

Re: Anology

[identity profile] violachic.livejournal.com 2003-12-28 12:52 pm (UTC)(link)
urrrrrrrr


um... yes?


whoever is a diva would play the violin... whoever does it for the love of the craft is a viola player... wish I knew more about rap :-P

Re: Anology

[identity profile] piddyx.livejournal.com 2003-12-28 03:43 pm (UTC)(link)
So the Viola is Sarah Brightman and The violin is Celine Dion.

Re: Anology

[identity profile] violachic.livejournal.com 2003-12-28 05:52 pm (UTC)(link)
Ouch! I think both of them are squeaky clarinets, if you have to make an analogy!

Re: Anology

[identity profile] piddyx.livejournal.com 2003-12-30 11:11 pm (UTC)(link)
I think I was a squeeky clarinet player from grades 4-6, now that you mention it. Definitely squeeky. Before that it was the piano. Now it is the radio.

You don't like Sara? Maybe I'm showing myself as a bite of a rube, but I'm a sucker for her and Andrea Bocelli's 'Con Te Partir.' I fall for Erik Satie too, but I'm not sure if it refutes or reinforces my rube status. And of coarse... Vivaldi. I'll bet you say that coming... I'm acutely aware, that when one also knows that I am a fan of writers Umberto Eco and Robert Browning, it is obvious that I epitomize a caricature of a certain temperment.

I love all live preformances though! A lot of people may turn their noses up at a seeing the Nutcracker at Christmas, but sometimes one experiences a profound preformance and it is a shame people miss out. That is why I often go (or wish to go) to more than one preformance, to see how it goes on different nights. Etc. Etc. Live, and in person, is better than a thousand recordings. I've liked the worst preformances far better than the best movies.

The last preformance I actually remember remarking on the strings was the accompianment for the play, "Gorey Stories" by the blind faith theatre troup. I remember in the playbill that the musicians were all members of an anti-car biking society, and I thought that was interesting. Also, I was struck by how many of the people put their vegan/vegitarian status on their bios. I suppose they just want to demonstrate their moral superiority. (I personally take a "don't ask, don't tell" approach to one's dietary life choices. What ever happens in the confines of one's kitchen is their own business.) Anti-car bike riding musicia

Re: Anology

[identity profile] violachic.livejournal.com 2003-12-31 12:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm a bit of an unashamed music snob. While most of the time, I'll enjoy a great performance of about anything (I really love ballet, for instance, and I will watch any well-coreographed, well-executed performance of "The Nutcracker"- except, of course, if I've been playing it nonstop for the previous month and a half myself), but I'm kind of sensitive of what has become "pop classical music" (my term). I think perhaps I have a built-in bias against Sarah Brightman because I pretty much abhor anything by Andrew Lloyd Weber except JC Superstar and Joseph and his colored coat business. Andre Bocelli has a beautiful voice, and I'm glad its turned people onto opera, but he doesn't hold a candle in any way to legitimate stage opera singers (don't even) get me started on Charlotte Church- I don't have very nice things to say). I agree, Erik Satie is a genius- so is Vivaldi, its just that so much of Vivaldi gets overplayed; but I would take a brilliantly performed "Four Seasons" any day.

Re: Anology

[identity profile] piddyx.livejournal.com 2003-12-31 12:47 pm (UTC)(link)
"Pop classical" music should be a real term. I'm sure you are more educated about musical theory and history than myself. Is there something that pop-classik has in common, beyond being used in diamond commercials?

Re: Anology

[identity profile] violachic.livejournal.com 2003-12-31 12:51 pm (UTC)(link)
Pop classical music, to me, is like christian pop music- snappy, and sometimes pretty, fairly entertaining, but basically pretty shallow.

Re: Anology

[identity profile] piddyx.livejournal.com 2003-12-31 01:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Is there something stylisticly simular?

Re: Anology

[identity profile] violachic.livejournal.com 2004-01-01 01:15 am (UTC)(link)
Nope.... just... I dunno :-D

Re: Anology

[identity profile] violachic.livejournal.com 2003-12-31 12:51 pm (UTC)(link)
oh yeah- and neither of them require a great deal of thought

Re: Anology

[identity profile] piddyx.livejournal.com 2003-12-31 01:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I think we may need a few examples to talk around, but I cant think of a satisfactory example.

"Pop classical" is your term, so can you give me two examples of music that epitomise the word?

[identity profile] earle29.livejournal.com 2003-12-30 08:08 am (UTC)(link)
Looks like you discovered PETELEVIN.com and his viola joke pages. These are my most favorite ones. I should post the Viola exam I have it somewhere.

Found the Viola EXAM!!!!

[identity profile] earle29.livejournal.com 2003-12-30 08:11 am (UTC)(link)
http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/viola3.html

Check it out!!!.....as if I don't have other things to do here at work. LOL