violachic

Sweet Jeebus and the yak he shaved.... is this what it feels like to be human?

I have been in the most phenomenal mood since sometime early Sunday evening. I'm happy. I'm actually relaxed. I slept like a log last night. I'm not exhausted. I don't have a headache. My back doesn't hurt. I have self-confidence.

Did the apocalypse happen while I was in Michigan, and this is heaven? How long will it last? As Kelly would say, "touch wood". No, not that kind of wood. Get your mind out of the gutter for once. Pervert.

My week of vacation started out with a really bizarre dream, and even more bizarre immediate after-effects of said dream, and ended with a mini-meltdown that blossomed into a wonderful purging of the soul that must be the reason behind my great mood.

I was lying in bed, on my right side. I had my right arm under the pillow and my left across my body and tucked in under my side. But in the dream, I was lying the same way, only I had my arms raised, with my hands in fists. There was a figure kneeling by the bed who was grasping my wrists, and we were struggling. I couldn't tell if I was defending myself, or if I was the aggressor, but I think I was trying to keep this person away from me. I guess I was yelling in the dream, because I started yelling in my sleep. A split second before I woke up I realized I was dreaming, and tried to wake up. I also was really scared, and I tried to call out for Libby, who was sleeping in the next bed. Right as I woke up I yelled out for her, and she kind of woke up. Being the true friend that she is, she wanted to comfort me, but wasn't totally awake yet. I guess she wanted to ask if I'd seen a ghost (I believe in ghosts, she does not, and I am convinced that her mother's cottage is haunted), but her brain-to-mouth connection wasn't working. The following conversation ensued:

Libby: Armadillo.
Amy:What?
pause
Libby:If there were an armadillo here, I have a suspicion that your mother would be able to make it..... (thinks, thinks, thinks)run away.
Amy:Libby, are you awake?
Libby:Yes. (pause) No.
Amy:Are you asleep?
Libby:No. Well.... yes. Well..... kind of.....

Silence. Then about ten minutes later as I was drifting off to sleep:

Amy: I wrestled an angel, just like Jacob. But I don't think I climbed any ladders.

After which we had a twenty minute conversation about ladders that neither of us remembers.

I've had a really rough about six or eight months trying to deal with myself, and trying to rise above some issues that have been haunting me. A couple weeks ago I decided that I had to just get it all out of my system and get on with my life, and I've been trying to exorcise a bunch of people and some unpleasant experiences. Last week was really good for that, because I had some relaxing time to myself to work some of it out. I also had a lot of time to practice, which made me realize how much I really love to play, and that it really is my true passion. It all seemed to come to a head on Saturday night, though. I wasn't drunk, but I'd definitely drunk too much. I had a sudden urge to go play, and I left the bonfire/star watching on the beach and barged into the house and played the hell out of my viola. I absolutely nailed some stuff that had been plaguing me all week, and kicked some ass on my favorite Bach stuff. I was kind of out of breath when I finished, but I realized I had reached some kind of catharsis. And as I realized this, I started to cry. I must have bawled for about an hour, and my friends were really amazingly kind, and put up with listening to me ramble and burble totally nonsensically, and I was comforted. I spent a few hours alone at the dock that night, and opted out of going to church in the morning with the group. Instead, I went on an expedition, made my own church, kind of, and spent about four hours out on the bluffs by myself kind of meditating and reading and praying and listening to CDs. When I came back, I had a huge headache, but after some Tylenol sinus and a two hour nap, I was feeling much better. And then later that night I got totally slap happy. In a good way. I think.

I practiced for like, 2 1/2 to 3 hours a day every day except Wednesday. I swam, but not as much as I probably should have. I did some kayaking on Sunday afternoon, and I'm not even sore! I have a kick ass tan. Except for the raccoon eyes where I had my sunglasses on all week.

On Wednesday we took a day trip up to Mackinac Island (here's a map for the person who was asking me about the location yesterday- in contrast, where we were vacationing was here). I've heard tons about it, but never had the chance to go up there before. Its absolutely gorgeous! There are some tourist-trappy type things up there, and we did take a tour of the historic fort and all. But the majority of the island is inhabited by these ancient victorian houses, really well kept up and looking incredibly beautiful. There is no vehicular traffic allowed on the island, so there are a lot of horses and bicycles around. We ate our dinner of sandwiches on the rocky beach, with a view of the mainland on one side and the victorian-spotted bluffs on the other. There are some really shmancy hotels on the island, including the Grand Hotel which was used in the movie Somewhere in Time, but there are also some really adorable- and affordable- Bed and Breakfast type places. It would be a really lovely place to vacation, if I'm ever rich. And on the way home, Libby and her mom let me take a ride over the Mackinaw Bridge, which has the most amazing view of water and islands and land I've ever seen in my life.

I think, though, the best memory of the week might have to be when Kelly and I made Sunday spend about an hour and a half tucking us in on Sunday night. Hahahaha! Sunday on Sunday....... hahahaha....... anyway...... all I got to say to you is

YOU A SUCKAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem.

Anyway. I had an incredible time. I did exactly what I wanted to do. And I'm happy.