Viola Joke-of-the-Day

[violachic]

Q:What instrument do violists envy most?
A:The harp. You only ever have to play pizzicato on open strings.

Q:What's another name for viola auditions?
A:Scratch lottery.

Q:What is the difference between a violist and a prostitute?
A1:A prostitute knows more than two positions.
A2:Prostitutes have a better sense of rhythm.


Q:What is the similarity between a violist and a prostitute?
A:Both are paid to fake climaxes.

Q:How do you get a dozen violists to play in tune?
A1:Shoot 11 of them.
A2:Shoot all of them.
A3:Who the hell wants a dozen violists?


Q:What's the latest crime wave in New York City?
A:Drive-by viola recitals.

Comments

[splagxna.livejournal.com]

i like harp jokes. :-D

[lcohen]

i have got to a) share these with my parents friend, alcestis (professional violinist who loves telling me viola and soprano jokes), and b) see if she has any violist jokes she'd like to pass along to you.

[violachic.livejournal.com]

*thumbs up*

The three harp jokes I found on my music joke web site

[violachic.livejournal.com]

Why are harps like elderly parents?
Both are unforgiving and hard to get into and out of cars.


How long does a harp stay in tune?
About 20 minutes, or until someone opens a door.

What's the definition of a quarter tone?
A harpist tuning unison strings.

Re: The three harp jokes I found on my music joke web site

[splagxna.livejournal.com]

garrison keillor used the first two on his 'band' show (which says harps are the ultimate lutheran instruments, i'll have you know). last one is new, and far too accurate. even for folks harps, which are generally more forgiving.