(no subject)

[violachic]

I really feel many people misunderstood what I was trying to say in my previous post. I'm also a little annoyed at the amount of people who give me so little credit to think that I can't walk away from people who are or who have been hurtful to me.

Yes, I have an interest in finding out what has become of some of the people I knew when I was younger. Not all, but some. In addition to some people from high school, there are a few from even longer ago than that who I am trying (so far without success) to track down.

My "Facebook Dilemma" is not "OMG the guy who used to make fun of me in the 7th grade friended me, what do I do?" It is "hey, there are some legitimately good, sincere people there, and I'd like to find out what they're up to, but I'm not sure if we have anything at all in common anymore." I was trying to illustrate the value system that we all endured, and that I'm sure shapes all of us regardless of outcome.

I have often mentioned over the last few years how lucky I am to be in a circle of friends- a quite large circle of friends, both in RL, and the LJ community- that shares so many of the values that are so important to me. Not only that, but a very non-judgemental circle of friends; there are people with different levels of education, money, etc., but nobody makes a judgement call on the lifestyles or lifestyle choices of others based on those things. It feels very good, very safe here. Why would I want to leave?

Well, reality. Reality is, not everyone in the world shares my values. Or maybe they do, but the overlap in our values are not the ones that are the most important to me. Do I automatically dismiss those people, if they're good, sincere, honest, fun people? Do I look at the background of someone and assume they don't hold my values? I say no. Hell, I even have a Republican or two on my flist- because they're good, sincere, funny, honest people, with whom I share other common interests.

So what I really want is to figure out how to take what and who I am, what and who is important to me, and hang onto them without insecurity while venturing outside my Comfort Zone. See, I like venturing outside my Comfort Zone; its fun, its educational, its scary as hell but I always get something out of it. And, quite frankly, it can be easy to be Me within my Comfort Zone; what takes real strength is being Me outside of it. Which, to me, falls under the category of how your beliefs aren't really your beliefs until they're challenged, and hold up to the challenge. Okay, so I have a sick sense of fun- but we knew that already.

So no, I'm not trying to relive my high school years- God forbid! And I'm not trying to just fit in- again, God forbid! I had originally joined the site for other reasons, which are still important to me. I guess I should have expected people from high school finding me, I just never expected I'd have such a rush of insecurity over it. I still haven't decided how much interaction I want to have with these people from my past, but there is definitely something in me that wants to hang onto being there, at least for awhile. If I give some of them half a chance, I might be pleasantly surprised. And if I'm disappointed, then all I have to do is unfriend them.

Comments

[whereisjoy.livejournal.com]

The thing is, walking away from people who are Not Nice always takes a certain amount of courage and generally - especially for people who've been involved with all of the nonviolence love-everybody stuff we have. I know that you can and do it, more easily than a lot of people, but that doesn't make it easy for most people. I got that that's not all you were talking about and I get your dilemma. Though I, for the life of me, have no idea how to resolve it. At what point is being open to all people just opening yourself up for ickiness. I don't know, but for me personally, the internet doesn't generally lead to interaction that cause me to grow. Cause it tends to be stupefying.


Any way, hi Amy. I really should call you. :-)

[princessbrat95.livejournal.com]

sorry you are sick,... hope you feel better soon.

[rhobike.livejournal.com]

here's an interesting article from today's Guardian on the neocon-libertarian politics of the owners of Facebook and what they are trying to accomplish with it.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2008/jan/14/facebook

[violachic.livejournal.com]

That's fascinating, thanks. I'll have to think about this for awhile.