(no subject)

Here, this ought to serve for part of my promised emails/posts.


From the altfriday5:

1. Do you feel happy on a day-to-day basis, in general?

I can feel happy in the moment, happy about some instances, but generally, no,"happy" is not a term I'd use much these days.

2. What are the things currently in your life that make you feel sad in the short term, if any? How much control do you feel you have over changing those things?

What makes me sad in the short term are pretty much the things that make me sad for the long-term. I've lost a hell of a lot in the last 18 months, and don't see how any of it is going to return any time soon. I'm pretty sad that I don't have a life, and that I can't do most of the things I used to be able to do. And no, despite being a good girl and following my doctor's instruction and taking my drugs and all, I don't feel I have any control over changing those things.

3. What are the things currently in your life that make you feel unhappy in the long term, if any? How much control do you feel you have over changing those things?

See above.

4. What do you do to make yourself happier in the short term?

As I said, I can be happy in the moment. Spending time with friends is good, and hanging out with my housemates. Going to the Pride parade and watching Indigo Girls made me happy. But when those things are done and I'm at home in bed and stuff, I revert to the default setting of I Hate What My Life Has Become.

5. What do you do to make yourself happier in the long term?

Fuck if I know.