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Q:Why do so many people take an instant dislike to the viola?
A:It saves time.


Q:How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune?
A:The bow is moving.


Q:How was the canon invented?
A:Two violists were trying to play the same passage together.


Q:Why is playing the viola like peeing in your pants?
A:They both give you a nice warm feeling without making any sound.


Q:Why is a viola solo like a bomb?
A:By the time you hear it, it's too late to do anything about it.

Q:Why is a viola solo like premature ejaculation?
A:Because even when you know it's coming, there's nothing you can do about it.
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